Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "sisterjulia" journal:
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I Feeeel Love|
I've had such a life full of treats and adventure recently!! There is just so much to do in life!!! I could do with re assesing my priorities...I haven't vacummed in over a week (think I've got that one about right) but plan on getting to it soon...I'm not huge on dusting and polishing...do not do ironing except for super fun...(fixing fabric paint, flattening pictures, melting crayons) reasons...but I'm beginning to feel that perhaps I might miss something a little more serious if I don't pay some attention to more mundane bits of life soonish. Definitely have a nagging sensation that I'm not taking my grown-up responsibilities seriously enough!
Here's some of the stuff I've been doing the last week or so....
Making Anime costumes for the London Anime Expo (photos to follow)
Shamanic Journeying with Eva Weaver through her WildWing Centre
Hanging out with my cousin Tom and discovering Tom's Bar in Brighton (photo's to follow)
And seeing the amazing Blue Man Group live at the Brighton Centre....Like This!::::
I have to write how grateful I am! So much seems to be flowing together, gifts and opportunities, lessons and opening...I am reminded of two things:
One, the feeling of something big coming...I had that sensation recently for a week or two and now it opens and unfurls in front of me with such incredible blessings and timeliness. Quite an extraordinary and gentle sensation...part of which I think I have to thank someone in particular, which I will in a moment...
And Two, I suddenly had a super strong sensation and rememberance today of the word I chose at the beginning of this year...Astonishing. Things are going to be astonishing! Things are going to be astonishingly different at the end of this year.
Life has brought me several gifts in the last few weeks in the way of changing things and offering healing support and nurturing...one of the most beautiful ones recently has been the gift of Anandi.
I have Known Anandi for nearly fifteen years, (she taught yoga as warm up for the Ninjutsu classes I used to go to) and over the years I have received a couple of Reiki and Cranial Sacral Therapy sessions from her. I bump into Anandi regularly and a couple of weeks ago she offered me a CST session as she does sometimes, and as every fibre of my body was practically in tears of exhaustion at that moment, I very gratefully took her up on the offer.
Two weeks later, what can I say?...The entire process of surrendering to healing with this amazing woman has been a gift! From being listened to and witnessed with love, to being secreted away in her Sanctuary of a therapy room, to the gentleness with which her hands listened to the knots and imbalances in my body, It strikes me that everyone, especially every mum (sorry but I'm biased) should be blessed with an Anandi!
If the sessions of rest, relaxation and amazing easing and tender care of aching muscles was not enough, the emotional releases that letting go of those physical tensions have brought about in every day life have been astounding to me. I've stepped out of Anandi's Treatment room feeling like a ten year old, physically feeling healthy in a way I thought my age and having two children had taken me way past, and found that emotionally the changes have stayed with me all week: I'm regularly dreaming vividly for the first time since having our youngest nearly three years ago. I feel less driven, yet get more done, and am having AHA!! moments aplenty.
All I can say is Thank You Thank You Thank You!!! Life Is Gorgeous! And if you live anywhere near Brighton try looking up Anandi Devadasi!
Gorgeous tailcastness|First up, before I leave it any longer I want to say "woo hoo" and Thank you to the tailcast cast and especially Milas as both 'It Is What It Is' and 'Just Pondering' were Featured Poems in the last ten days on tailcast.
This is this months tailspin, the gorgeous, and now available to buy and own in wonderful printed bookness, monthly magazine of selected tailcast member's work.
I think it's available in North America and the UK... and if you check out nothing else then ManDartin's poem You Are The Miracle features on page 25 made me cry twice! He has several stunning pieces on his tailcast page. My tailcast page is here.
There You Are!|
And then I remembered!
As soon as
I lay where I wanted
It was there:
The grain of sand
The All That Is
To see It in every grain
Yet be blind to it
When I look at myself!
There are so many ways I have changed.
So many versions of me
They seem to be
Yet still the core of me remains
Colourful, uncomfortable and awkward,
Hopeful, loving and untoward.
Where is the wisdom in this?
Where is the continuing presence
With lessons learned?
How can I get it wrong again and again?
Or is it right?
Where is that grain of sand, that grain of me
Yet so essential
As to be my mountain of Self;
To hold all this coherent?
I'd never even heard of latte art, my coffee was so pretty!
Feeling Super Lucky to be living where I live today...the sun shone, the washing dried, time at the park (5 mins from my house), bumped into friends, received offers of healing time, met new people, drank jasmine tea, listened to the birds...the list goes on...Super Super Lucky.
There is something big happening, quietly, gently, something is shifting. I'm usually all gung-ho at this point, pushing and rushing at change, a bit like a kid at Christmas shouting "What is it? What is it?" but actually this time I don't even want to know...I want it to be so slow, so gradual as to be imperceptible...because If I don't know what it is I can't panic and muck it up. Change is coming, it's all good and I think I'll just allow it and enjoy my cups of coffee and occasional sunset walks in town.
Two months already? I am lost somewhere in all this life!! I just worked out that I started this picture two months ago...so much for one a week!
Something big is coming up...no idea what yet, and impossible to imagine where to fit it, but I can feel it creeping up from inside me and edging in around me. I am feeling slightly un-nerved and gnaw-y. As ever there is only one thing to do, keep moving forward...slowly. So I'm off to move this picture foward too!
I ask for clarity.
I feel gratitude and Love for all reminders and illuminators.
I ask to keep my heart open even if my mind tries to panic.
I ask to remain in Love.
This is where I work...(sometimes!)
For my Nan!|
Lead the Way!|
Some people you just have to run to keep up with! These are the other pics from our friends house a couple of weeks back...
I was thinking I'd been non-internetty because I was in semi retreat, coming back to myself...turns out it's just a challenge to fit everything in! The last de-clutter finally had the impact I'd been hoping for, things tidy away easily, there is space for growth and I can find things as I need them (touching wood at this point) The space in the house seems to re-arrange easily for the days needs too which makes it feel bigger in some way...room to breathe.
Good job too! I'm nervous about our up-coming meeting with the EOTAS (educated other than at school) team and the less energy it takes to move between roles in the house, the more energy I have to concentrate on trying to remember all the things I have to do! Big dreams and brilliant ideas apparently take lots of time, attention and intention...I have heard about a guy teaching others the value of (and how to work) a four hour week!!?? I need to find this man! Not really sure that motherhood could be made that efficient but perhaps he has so much free time now he wouldn't mind coming and lending me a hand.
I've just had one of those moments that leave me grinning for hours...
Watching some film credits I noticed a Julia...I love that name, love my name, love seeing it unexpectedly, being reminded of myself, my existence and getting such a buzz out of it... I was just thinking to myself how much I loved my name when my constant critic began mercilessly ribbing me about being such a complete narcissist!
I'm usually reasonably quick to concur and internally bow my head in appropriate shame, but this morning a second thought was there to rescue me...actually I love loads of things that much.
That lead to one of those rare moments of fully realising and feeling how I love and accept myself as completely and excitedly as everything and everyone else I love.
I love moments like these.
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